Healing From Abuse Takes Time. Let the Holy Spirit Restore You
Right now, it may feel like you will never be the same; the fun-loving and vibrant person you once were. Experiencing abuse can leave you feeling confused and robbed of who you are. If you're just coming out of an abusive relationship and are in the process of a dissolution of the marriage, you may long for the day when the divorce is finally official, so you can put it all behind you. But putting the pain and abuse all behind you doesn't have to mean you ignore what you're feeling. Trying to ignore what you're feeling and preoccupying your mind with something else can actually make the process even longer.
When I was going through the divorce process, I tried to busy myself by watching movies and TV shows to distract my heart from feelings of loneliness. I wasn't feeling lonely because I missed my ex-husband. I was feeling lonely because I longed for what I never had. I longed to really feel loved and cherished. But I realized trying to ignore the void in my heart didn't speed-up my healing process. It wasn't until I allowed myself to experience the loneliness, experience the flashbacks of bad memories, and experience the let down of being married to someone who professed to love God and care about pastoring his sheep that I began to notice myself feeling more free.
Don't Run Away from the Pain. But Don't Wallow in It Either.
I began to feel more free because I allowed myself to stay in bed, feel horrible, and cry my eyes out. The key to allowing yourself to experience the pain is discerning in your spirit when it's time to move on and not wallow in your sorrows — it's all about finding balance in life after abuse. It can be a fine line between experiencing the pain and feeling sorry for yourself, which can leave you stuck in a rut. I have found that the only way to know when you're approaching this fine line is staying connected to the Father and being sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit is a spirit of restoration that can do more for you than any self-help book or counselor. Yes. A book, counselor, and even a good friend can give you tools to help you move on and speak edifying words that can bring about some healing. But keep in mind, a book, counselor, or friend did not create your soul and spirit. Only the Holy Spirit knows the inner workings of your being. The Holy Spirit is the spirit of Christ and the Father who formed you in your mother's womb. Remember, you're not just a physical body. The essence of you is spirit. Deep has to call unto deep. Spirit has to call onto your spirit for you to truly find rest in the Messiah and be healed from abuse.
So while it may feel like your heart is bleeding right now, while it may feel like you're just not yourself anymore, you won't feel like that forever. If you allow the Holy Spirit to help you balance the line between experiencing your pain and taking steps to move on, you will be healed. You will literally trade your ashes for beauty and become emotionally, mentally, and spiritually whole.
