Narcissistic Projection Tactics
Here a little, there a little, is the covert tactic that narcissists use on their victims. A little leaven will leaven the whole lump. And so, a little twisting of truth here, a little mind-bending there, will ultimately change the receiver of narcissistic abuse thought patterns, perceptions and conclusions.
Narcissists have twisted the here a little, there a little principle that comes from the scriptures to suit their devilish scheme to inflict mental abuse. "Whom shall he teach knowledge? And whom shall he make to understand doctrine? Them that are weaned from the milk, and drawn from the breasts. For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little: For with stammering lips and another tongue will he speak to this people." (Isaiah 28: 9-11 KJV).
Narcissists like to prey especially on those who they discern are not weaned from milk (the naive). Although, narcissists who are skilled mind-benders can deceive even those who've matured to eating solid food (the independent-thinking adult). How narcissists bend your mind to alter your reality is by projecting their own falsehoods and treacheries onto you.
The Top 2 Projection Tactics Narcissists Use
1. The Off-Topic Rebuttal. Have you ever asked someone a question or tried to have a conversation and the person completely changes the topic? I'm sure many of us have had this experience or have even done this ourselves a few times. But when a narcissist does this, it's more than just diverting a conversation off course. It's about diverting a conversation off course while entrapping you between a rock and a hard place.
For example, you're talking to a NARC about the mean things he says to you. You give some examples of what was said and how it made you feel. The NARC responds by saying: when he met you, you were living in a small apartment and now because of him, you live in a large house. You don't seem to appreciate all that has been done for you.
Grandslam! The NARC has taken the conversation on a different route by bringing up something that is true, you living in a small apartment when you first met, and has now entrapped you. If you respond in an attempt to defend your character, you will be going off course for a bumpy ride to Guilt Trip Land. If you attempt to go back to the original topic, it will seem like you are now trying to avoid the point that the narcissist brought up.
Do you see the treachery? The NARC has masterfully used projection to turn you into the person who does not want to confront their issues and talk about the topic at hand. This mentally abusive tactic has the capacity to bend your mind because as a normal human being with an internal compass of fairness and justice, you're most likely going to first look at yourself to determine if it's really you who is in the wrong. And this is exactly the mental realm that the narcissist wants you in.
The narcissist wants to alter your reality so you can take on the mindset that it's you; the narcissist is the victim and you're the aggressor. Within your heart, you know those things aren't true. But your thoughts and perceptions are now warped, so you think they are.
2. The Random Accusation. Just when you thought things were going okay in the relationship for a change, the narcissist says something that just seems to have come from out of nowhere. Let's paint a scenario: you confided in the NARC a few years ago that at one point in your life, you were very depressed, which caused you to lose your job because you were under-performing. One day out of the blue, the NARC brings this up. The NARC then goes into how he feels like you're not capable of handling anything difficult because you're not strong enough.
Why is the NARC bringing this up? It's not like a similar conversation or circumstance was taking place for the NARC to say those things. The why is in exactly what the narcissist said. All you have to do is put the letter "I" where the NARC has put the word "you". The NARC is feeling weak; feeling like he doesn't have it all together. Perhaps this feeling of weakness is coming from you standing up to the NARC, and now the NARC is trying to regain some control through this random act of accusation.
Instead of the NARC expressing his insecurities in a sincere manner to seek your comfort or help, the NARC would rather project his lackluster feelings onto you. If you get caught-up in the mind game, the NARC can get you to start feeling low about yourself and thinking you're not good enough; you must really not be strong enough after all. This is all a ploy to get your mind twisted by thinking to yourself, "it must be me. I'm the weak one."
If these scenarios and examples are similar to experiences you've had with a narcissist, you may be thinking, "How can I escape being ensnared in the bind-mending game?" The only way you can get out of this game is to STOP PLAYING. Trying to prove your innocence, good conscience or character to a NARC is futile. The NARC will simply find a spin-doctor scheme to put everything back on you; without validating anything you're saying or feeling.
Stop playing the game may mean you leaving the narcissistic relationship. You cannot rehabilitate a NARC by your sheer willpower. True change is predicated on one's humility and willingness to surrender. A narcissist has to be humble to recognize his narcissistic abuse and be willing to surrender to the outlets that can instill change.
Don't settle for a relationship or marriage that's plagued with deception through projection. Open the spiritual eyes of your heart to recognize when a narcissist is trying to bend your mind to alter your reality. Take your mind back! Take your reality back! You can survive narcissistic abuse!
