Beauty for Ashes: Trading Being a Victim for Being an Overcomer
Do you see yourself as a victim or as a set-free overcomer of abuse? Do you see yourself through the eyes of defeat or through the eyes of God? Do you see yourself as someone who is entitled or as someone who is blessed to experience God's grace? These are important questions to think about because the answer can determine whether you have truly been healed from abuse. What do I mean by this? I'll explain. I have witnessed how being stuck in a victim mindset causes people to victimize others while living by an illusion that the world owes them everything. This makes them justify their abusive and toxic treatment toward others as non-existent, because after all, how could victim-minded people be guilty of any wrongdoing—it's everyone else who is always doing something to them.
If reading these words makes you feel free, then I suppose that's because you have overcome the trauma of being abused, and you see yourself as someone set free by God. But if reading these words makes you feel uncomfortable, then I suppose the abuse you have experienced has produced a victim outlook on life. If this is the case, you may be inclined to use pity or guilt-trip tactics to get attention from others and/or to get your way because you feel like you are entitled to have all your needs, hopes, and desires fulfilled because of how badly people have treated you.
You may thinking, "Doesn't God want me to have happiness and fulfillment?" Of course He does! In 3 John 1:2, it reads, "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou may prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospers". The Father does care about your quality of life. He also cares about what's going on in your "inward man", the real you that you may be hiding from everyone else. He cares about what may be the hurt young girl that has now grown up physically, but maybe not emotionally and spiritually.
If this sounds familiar to how you have been feeling on the inside, don't despair; joy comes in the morning. Right now, you can start the process of trading your ashes for beauty by asking God to set you free. Confess to the Father anything you know you need to repent from, and ask Him to bring to your remembrance areas that need His forgiveness. By first repenting for your own stuff, this will allow the Father to break down whatever walls you have put up, which can put you in a better position to forgive others and yourself.
Forgiving others doesn't mean that you hold people unaccountable for their actions. Forgiving yourself doesn't mean you may not have to still deal with any consequences that your actions produced. What forgiveness does is help to release you from the self-imprisonment that may be keeping you trapped in a state of victimhood. I believe repentance coupled with forgiveness are the first steps to trading being a victim for being an overcomer. So choose this day to be an overcomer of abuse. I believe in your healing. I believe that you can trade you ashes for beauty, and be set free!
